User:CheechLizard
From Worms Knowledge Base
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An hero
CheechLizard is a genuine comedy genius and the Worms Mel Gibson and, just like Mel Gibson, he will have your legs broken for disagreeing with him.
CheechLizards meteoric rise to fame began in the early days of WACL where he won the title of "best nickname ever" and subsequently the WormsFiles "worst thing to happen to worms ever" award.
CheechLizard wears these accolades like new shoes but not hats.
Team17 finally acknowledged CheechLizard as an internet celebrity of their own making in 2000 when limited edition copies of Worms World Party signed by Cheech were auctioned off for the Matt Kelly Razorblade fund; the event raised enough cash to ship over 13 packs of Sainsbury’s economy razors to New York.
Since the loss of Andy Davidson to internet cancer some years earlier this was a godsend for Team17 and a PR coup, CheechLizard was now being called the new John Romero but the pressure was starting to take its toll.
CheechLizards Team17 handler, Spaedg, was finding it increasingly difficult to keep his young charge in line. He took to spending long hours playing Gunbound, a game not just with hats but also gloves and sticks with balloons on the end of them.
Things reached a head in 2001 when Cheech refused to wear a hat at a press conference for the release of Worms Golf, stating that not only would it ruin his awesome hair but that hats were also "gay ass shit".
Enough was enough and the relationship was brought to an abrupt end. Cheech, under advisement from ace legal representative Robert Downey JNR, decided to pursue a settlement through the courts and the case was settled for an undisclosed sum.
As part of the settlement CheechLizard was forbidden from wearing a hat, cap, or bonnet in public for a period of no less than 8 years.
In 2003 Cheech was arrested in Windsor for possession of restricted items, believed to be a fedora, and sentenced to a brief spell of community service. Ironically enough the community service involved a community restoration project where, for health and safety reasons, Cheech was required to wear a hard hat.
Will Smith
In 2005 Cheech recorded a novelty hip-hop record with Polish rap outfit NWH called Wear Your Hat. Cheech appeared in the video wearing a variety of hats and babushkas which caused outrage back home in England, the Daily Mail branded him evil for his blatant disregard of British law and fashion.
Cheech was arrested upon landing at Heathrow but shortly released without charge.
Children are our future and not faggots
With his career and reputation in ruins Cheech slipped into obscurity for a brief period only to resurface in late 2006 as a freelance investigative reporter for the News of the World.
After months of undercover operations infiltrating an online paedophile ring the story broke in the national press and was quickly picked up by media outlets around the world. Thanks to hard work and discipline an international child sex ring, known as WormsCon, was smashed and its leader, Tom Miller, brought to swift and brutal justice.
For his diligence and determination Cheech was invited to Zimbabwe and given the Keys to the city of Harare and, following international pressure, the hat ban was finally lifted.
Win
Cheech now works as an advisor for the Jeremy Kyle Show on ITV and occasionally wears a hat at a jaunty angle.
See also
