Talk:The Fiddler

Welcome to The Fiddler v4.0^[1] , by Fudge Boy. This program is designed to allow access to thousands of hidden options within Worms : Armageddon, by Team17 Software Ltd. With The Fiddler, you can customise the weaponry and game parameters to the point of absurdity........

Before you decide you're going to sit there and read the whole message, I warn you: it's rather long. Persevere, though. The question that is on everybody's lips is comprehensively answered in here........

(Just before we start this, let me help you out. If you move the focus to another application (by, for example, clicking on the desktop) then the scrolly will stop. If you're really going to read the whole message, I suggest you stop the message, go and get yourself a nice pot of tea, and sit back and prepare yourself for a long night in.).......

But first, the boring bit........^[1]

The Fiddler is shareware, which means that you may freely copy the program and try it out, but if you decide that you want to make regular use of it then you must register. The registration fee is only a pathetic £5.00 or $8.50; full details can be found under "Help" and "About/Registering...", including how to register by credit/debit card. All currencies are accepted........

Credits: all programming by Fudge Boy; testing by AGi, Allan West, Ben (Combatter) Kennish, Jason Blakeney aka. Mighty Beefy, Jesper Lindholm, and (in particular) Edward Webb; grid icons by Aqua Sheep, Edward Webb, Fudge Boy, GabeSmed, Lord Hugh, Palpy, and John Sowler; icons for weapons modules and fiddles by Mighty Beefy; WormsMart design and maintenance by Allan West........

And now a small plug: please do make use of the "Top Sites" links on the right-hand side. If you buy books using the Amazon link in The Fiddler, I will earn a few pence in the process. You can also earn money for yourself and me by using AllAdvantage, SharkHunt or UtopiAD........

About the author: Fudge Boy is currently doing a PhD at Royal Holloway, University of London, on the automatic verification of security protocols. He is a Christian, a regular leader on the Milton Abbey 2 CYFA camp, a firm follower of Southampton FC, and a devoted reader of John Morgan's "Modern Manners" column in The Times on Saturdays (once having even had a letter published in the aforesaid column). He is a nerdy computer geek, having been exposed in his early years to the delights of first a VIC-20 and second an Amstrad CPC6128, the latter being so technologically advanced as to sport a 3" floppy disc drive (yes, three, not three and a half...yes, disc with a "c" and not a "k"...) through which he acquired his dubious talent of getting computers to do anything except what they were designed for........

And now, by popular demand, the answer to the world's biggest question: why "Fudge Boy"? The explanation is a surprisingly simple one. Of all the author's (many) uncelebrated talents, the biggest (and perhaps least celebrated) is his unquestioned ability to make a decent bit of fudge. His recipes make one's mouth water at the merest mention. His soft, creamy one has moved many a man to tears. Fudge Boy will readily admit that it was as a result of his jealous nature that this formerly undiscovered skill came to light. One day, as he sat there in Sixth Form college awaiting the start of his lesson, three girls burst in: "We stayed up until a quarter to eleven making fudge! Would you like some?" Fudge Boy was determined to prove that he was more than a match for the Fudge Brigade (as they became known). After all, one of them sounded like a horse and another one looked like a horse. So the author, Andrew, Tim and Michael got together one evening and fudged the night away. In fact, they stayed up even beyond a quarter to eleven on several occasions, making fudge (both chocolate and vanilla) fit for a king. Since that time, the author has been known—with some justification—as Fudge Boy........

This program grew out of the frustration of discovering that Worms : Armageddon is much less customisable than Worms 2 was. Fudge Boy developed SchemeEd at around the same time that Allan West was writing Armageditor 1.0, but both quickly discovered the limitations of scheme file editing. Three weeks of late nights picking apart the disassembled code of Worms : Armageddon and The Fiddler was born! The Fiddler is Fudge Boy's first attempt to write a program for other people to use, which he is finding to present quite a challenge. None of his programs to date has ever been run outside of the compiler........

The author can remember the days when scrolling messages along the bottom of the screen were cutting edge. He often yearns for the days of sitting in front of "Manic Miner" reading the whole text and wondering if anyone else had ever bothered doing so. Back then, he thought they were cool. Now, he's grown up a bit, and realises that he probably really was the only one who had ever bothered reading the whole thing. But he can't resist putting in his own scrolly in the desperate hope that someone will read it........

But even nostalgia has its limits. That's enough........

Thank you for listening. Your patience is appreciated.